Twinkling Watermelon (2023)

Even in zero gravity, I would still fall for you

According to research, gravity is a force of attraction that pulls objects toward the center of the Earth. It’s the reason we stay grounded, why things fall when dropped, and how Earth keeps its atmosphere in place. Pero bakit noong nakita kita, parang gravity mismo ang nagtulak sa’kin para mahulog agad sa’yo?

Jokes aside, I can’t explain why I fell for you in just one glance, but one day I woke up, saw you, and realized I had. Not in the literal sense where I tripped and landed on you, but in the way you caught my attention and stole my heart without me even noticing.

It felt like one of those moments when you’re drifting off to sleep, and suddenly, you feel like you’re falling. Science says it happens because the brain misinterprets muscle relaxation and sends signals through the nervous system to “catch” you. That’s exactly what you did to me — you caught me off guard and made me fall.

I used to think love was just a distraction; study first ako eh. But then you came along, and you made me realize that falling in love is possible. You woke up a part of me I didn’t even know was asleep.

Ano ba naman kasi ang laban ng “study first” ko, eh ikaw na ‘yan. Trust me, in a room full of people, all eyes will be on you. Grabe naman kasi ‘yang kapogian mo — kuhang-kuha mo nga ako eh. Kahit hindi mo sinasadya, parang lahat ng tao, nadadala ng presence mo. It’s as if you’re the gravity that makes people fall — not to the ground, but for you. At ako na mismo ang patunay niyan. Kahit anong pilit kong umiwas, parang wala rin — kasi ikaw yung tipo ng tao na hindi pwedeng hindi mapansin, hindi pwedeng hindi mahalin.

Ikakagalit ba ng grammar teacher ko kung sasabihin kong ang mga positive adjectives ay katumbas ng pangalan mo? At ng math teacher ko, na sa tuwing hinahanap si x at y, ikaw na ang laging sagot? Cringe, ‘di ba? Pero wala eh, ang lakas ng epekto mo sa’kin na kahit sa maliliit na bagay, ikaw ang naaalala ko at pumapasok sa isip ko. Siguro, kailangan mo nang magbayad, kasi halatang ikaw na ang permanenteng nakatira sa utak ko. Wala na eh, naging bahagi ka na ng araw-araw ko, kahit hindi ko naman sadya, ikaw pa rin ang laman ng mga utak ko, ikaw na ‘yung lagi kong hinahanap.

But I know for sure na kahit walang gravity, I would still fall for you. Paano ko nasabi? Kasi kahit hindi na invent ang word na “fall” kung walang gravity, ganyan pa rin ang mangyayari sa’kin. Hindi ko kayang pigilan — even without the laws of physics, you’re still the reason why I would indulge in the feeling of falling. Parang kahit anong mangyari, ikaw pa rin ang tanging puwersa na magpapalakas sa’kin, at kahit walang gravity, sa’yo pa rin ako babagsak.

Ang weird nga, ‘di ba? Kasi kahit alam kong malabo, kahit alam kong pwede akong masaktan, patuloy pa rin akong bumabagsak. But in the most selfish way possible, I hope no one falls for you the way I do. I hope no one else experiences this feeling — because, even though it’s overwhelming, it’s also the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt.

I hope no one sees you the way I do, na sana ako nalang ang madala sa charms mo at huwag na yung iba diyan. Kasi ang hirap, eh, kapag ibang tao pa ang nakakakita ng kung anong meron ka. Parang gusto ko lang na ako yung may karapatang maramdaman lahat ng iyon, ako yung tanging nakakaintindi sa’yo. I want to be the only one who gets to admire the little things about you, to feel special in your presence, and to know you in ways no one else can. Sa totoo lang, I just want to keep you all to myself, kasi alam ko na kahit gaano pa kalaki ang mundo, wala nang makakapantay sa kung anong nararamdaman ko para sa’yo.

But for me, you’re an art for a reason. What would be the purpose of a painter if their masterpieces can’t be seen and appreciated by others? Even though I long to keep you all to myself, I don’t want to be selfish because you deserve to be admired and recognized. Your beauty isn’t just for me to enjoy; it’s meant to be shared with the world. As much as I want to keep you in my little corner, I know your essence deserves to be seen, to be appreciated by everyone who’s lucky enough to witness it. You’re a masterpiece, and masterpieces deserve to be admired by more than just one pair of eyes.

But I hope that even in a room full of people who admire you, you’ll see me as someone who’s special — someone who stands out to you more than all of them. I know you deserve to be admired by many, but I hope that in the midst of all the attention you get, I’m the one who catches your eye, the one who makes you feel something different. Even if you’re surrounded by admiration, I just want to be the one you look at and think, “This one is different.” Because, for me, you’re already everything, and I hope that in some way, I can be that for you too.

But I’m sure if that happens, it’s only a dream, because it feels impossible for someone like you to ever fall for someone like me. Kaya mag-aaral na lang ako, pero naalala ko bigla na aral pa ako nang aral tungkol sa gravity na yan noon when I was still in elementary, pero mahuhulog at mahuhulog pa rin ako sa’yo, kahit wala yan. Naisip ko, baka may paraan para hindi mangyari, pero sa tuwing nandiyan ka, parang ang hirap pigilan. Lahat ng laws, lahat ng theories, parang hindi ko na kayang intindihin, kasi ikaw pa rin ang dahilan kung bakit ako nahulog.

Kung may gravity man o wala, parang walang puwersa na kayang pigilan ang nararamdaman ko. Siguro nga, wala nang kailangan pang pag-aralan, kasi hindi ko na kayang labanan — tulad ng isang bagay na natural lang, nahulog na lang ako, at ikaw ang dahilan.