If I were to ask you to name everything you love, how long would it take you to mention yourself?
There was a time when I went to a café with my friends to celebrate our success in surviving and finishing junior high school. We laughed, gossiped, and indulged in plenty of food, savoring the joy of the afternoon. We were so happy and full when, suddenly, I felt thirsty; however, I decided to fill their cups first before my own. As I reached for the pitcher to fill the fourth cup, I realized it was empty. With six of us gathered, only three cups had been filled. So, I asked the waiter for a refill, and he brought us another pitcher. I was finally able to fill all our cups, ensuring everyone had what they needed to enjoy the celebration.
You might be wondering how the first paragraph connects to the concept of this article. Well, think and reflect of these questions:
How can you pour from an empty cup?
How can you give something you don’t have?
How can you inspire others when you’re lacking motivation?
How can you share joy when you’re feeling down?
How can you support others if you’re feeling overwhelmed yourself?
How can you lead with confidence if you doubt yourself?
How can you encourage growth in others if you’re not growing?
How can you celebrate others’ successes when you’re not celebrating your own?
I was so passionate about pouring into their cups, but I eventually realized I had nothing left to give to fill theirs. In terms of love, it’s when you pour your heart into others, giving everything you have while neglecting your own needs, and then you start to feel empty, unable to offer the genuine care and affection they deserve.
The cup is empty and you have nothing else left to share.
Then, it hit me that you have to love and prioritize yourself first before others. By this, you are filling or refilling your cup. This action isn’t about neglecting others; it’s about recognizing that you cannot pour from an empty cup.
It became clear that self-love and self-care are not selfish acts. After all, if you don’t take the time to love and care for yourself, how can you genuinely offer love to others?
If you look back at the questions above, you will notice that everything needs to begin with you. In love, you can’t genuinely give what you don’t have. This means that before you can offer love, kindness, support, or affection to others, you must first cultivate those qualities within yourself.
“Love must begin with yourself first and the rest will follow.”
Loving yourself means recognizing your limits, setting boundaries, and nurturing your own needs first, so you can genuinely be there for those you want to love and help. It involves understanding that you are just as deserving of love, care, and attention as anyone else, and I truly believe that when you fall in love with yourself, you’ll look less for love, connection, and joy in the wrong places. You’ll find serenity in solitude, enjoying your own company and naturally attracting what’s best for you.
If I were to ask you to name everything you love, how long would it take you to mention yourself?
Would you even think of yourself or not at all?
If not, I hope you come to realize that you deserve to love yourself just as much as you love those around you, and I hope you learn to love yourself the way you wanted others to love you.
Start prioritizing filling your own cup first before you start filling others.
